Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
