Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
