I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
