like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
