thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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