I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
