i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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