oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
