I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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