I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
