I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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