i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
