I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
