yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
