I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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