I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
