I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
