She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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