just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
