My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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