Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
