everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
