She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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