i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
