yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize