dude i'm inner monologue high
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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