Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
