I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
