Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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