Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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