i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish you could order shots online.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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