Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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