He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
