i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
