i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i think i just lost a toe
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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