I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
