i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
