But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
