Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
