The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
