do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
