Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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