Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
