yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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