Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
