No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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