didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
