I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
