i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
barbara walters just said penis...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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