I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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