i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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