end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize