I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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