is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
