oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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