If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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