i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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